“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” Leonard Cohen
This statement couldn’t be more poignant on this day. Suffering a loss is never easy, but losing a child is a loss of unspeakable sorrow. Last night just after conquering an eighth year of life, Upile Chatha has left this physical world. I found Upile at Marie da Silva’s Jacaranda School in Malawi. It was my first day at the school. I was in the Standard 1 class and was seated at the very front, watching as the teacher taught the curriculum. This day they were learning numbers. I watched as the children recited the numbers, 1,2,3,4,5…and then walked up to the chalkboard and practiced writing them. Upile went up to write the number 5. A straight line down, then swing around then end with a line on top. I was relishing in the moment, watching as they so proudly drew their number 5. Going to school is not a given in Malawi, it’s a privilege, and it’s is even more of a gift for orphans there. Most orphans will never see the inside of a school and nearly half of the child population is composed of orphans, this classroom was full of those being blessed by the hard work of the Jacaranda Foundation. I sat there, in my chair at the front of the class, with my knees touching the girls in the front row. One of those sets of knees belonged to a beautiful pair of brown eyes and a smile to match. Those eyes were peering up at me, in between scribbles of numbers in her notepad. This was Upile. She giggled with her friend, Felista, who was seated next to her and then she turned her book around to show me how she’d written her numbers, she stole my heart right out of my chest and has kept it since then. She had a huge smile, and big beautiful bright shining eyes but underneath all of that, she was very ill. I could hear very laborious breathing efforts coming from my little dear and it struck me so hard I had to take the teacher aside and ask if she had an inhaler, since I have my entire life suffered from asthma, I just could not take the sound of such harsh breathing efforts, it’s not necessary when a puff on an inhaler would fix it. Upon inquiring, the teacher informed me that both of her parents had passed due to AIDS and that Upile herself was inflicted with the same, since birth. I still did not understand how this suffering was happening. Why she was apparently so ill? Why was she being left to suffer with breathing this way? Was she on medication? Did she need medication? When did she last see a doctor? These were all the questions churning in my being as watched this adorable little girl trying to hard so be a good student. These are the questions I took to Marie. I didn’t even have to ask all the questions, I merely started to speak about a sick child and Marie immediately wanted to know all of the details and said, we will speak to her guardian and see what we can do for this child. I have to say, it was such an enlightening moment for me, that immediate action, (I will forever in this lifetime admire and do anything to help my friend Marie, for that very moment). We put together a plan to speak with Upile’s guardian the very next day. Well, the next day came and when I went into the classroom I found out that she was home, sick. You can already guess what Marie said when I told her the news and we were soon off to find our little girl.
Marie and I walked out into the village, she gave me the tour and pointed out things along the way, it was a pretty long walk, I was surprised this sick little one was walking this far, considering her state. When we finally came to Upile’s home, we found her sitting on the ground, playing with rocks, outside. I was immediately taken aback that she was out of school sick but was outside, in a ragged, torn dress that once had a zipper but was now dripping from Upile’s severely malnourished body. She recognized me right away, it was quite touching. Those big eyes and smile melted me every time. Marie, speaks Chichewa so she asked her where her guardian was and if she could take us there. 3 Shockingly, we found out, she wasn’t on any medications and hadn’t seen a doctor in over years. She wasn’t being cared for at all, sadly. Marie and I decided this was not going to continue and we got her to the hospital as soon as we could. The next couple of weeks I spent quite a bit of time visiting Upile in the children’s ward as she gathered strength and slowly came to health. We brought her treats, (her favorite was chips) toys and on a few occasions even had the bright idea of bringing in my laptop so she could watch movies, which in and of itself was an enormous experience for all in the hospital. Every time I saw her she was eating more and looking better and on my last day at Jacaranda she was out of the hospital and spending time with Marie and I. She sat on our laps and smiled. It was heart tugging to tell her I was leaving,, Marie relayed the message as I watched her eyes change and her expression go down. I embraced her, told her how much she meant to me and that I’d be always be thinking of her. Her smile came back for me and that will be the memory I have of my sweet little friend. I wish that I could have seen her again. My little fighter was strong.
Upile was an angel for change. She didn’t know this but since her case and finding her obvious neglect, it effected a change at Jacaranda and there have been several children who have been diagnosed and medicated. Today, when a child is showing signs of sickness or is noticeably missing school for being sick, they are taken to the hospital and given the care essential to their well-being and ultimately lives. No longer will sickness be overlooked. We are also working to make workbooks to encourage them to take their medication. It is one thing to get the child diagnosed, another to get their ongoing medication and even another to get them to take ownership of their own health care. I know it’s hard to imagine a 5 year old taking ownership of her own health care but it’s a fact. My goal is to help them reach a place where they can speak to each other, lean on each other and get well together. The workbooks are the start. Ultimately, we want these little beings to be empowered to care for themselves, as too often we see they aren’t getting the vital care they so desperately need. I will miss hugging, kissing and holding Upile’s hand. She put a crack in my heart and that’s where I’m going to let the light in. These tears are of sorrow and joy. Joy that you were loved so very much and that your life has touched so many. I love you. Rest in peace beloved.
